Tuesday, April 10, 2007

hash article

What follows is my final draft of a hashing article for the Pikes Peak Road Runners monthly newsletter. It's length, subject, and rating have been heavily watered down by the editor, and I think it's alright but not great, but it still surves the main purpose of introducing hashing to the general running public.

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Standing knee deep in a muddy puddle, I strain to hear calls of "on-on!". I’m bleeding, I've hopped fences, stepped in dog poop, crawled through a tunnel under I-25, and trudged half a mile up a creek. All to reach the beer check, a garbage bag full of luke warm Pabst Blue Ribbon hidden behind a bush. Yup, I must be spending another Saturday afternoon hashing in Colorado Springs!

Hashing started in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, back in 1938 when a group of hounds, led by Albert "G" Gispert, began a weekly jog based on the old game of hare and hounds. Always beginning at the Royal Selangor Club, the group began to call themselves the Hash House Harriers, a dig at the less-than-outstanding food served at the club. Since then, hashing has spread out across the globe, and now boasts over 1500 kennels worldwide.

Though one will encounter different traditions in every kennel, there are some similarities. A hare will set out beforehand, either several hours early (a dead lay) or several minutes early (a live lay). The hare will drop markings with flour, which the pack is expected to follow. Typical markings include dollups (a mark of flour), arrows (which show which way the trail goes), checks (usually in the shape of an X, means trail can continue on in any direction and the pack must seek out true trail), and, every hashers favorite, a BN (beer near) - implies refreshments will soon be consumed.

While there are never any rules at a hash and trail can be anything from paved road to raw sewage, hashers tend to gravitate towards "shiggy," basically meaning they really like to get dirty. And hashers also have a thing for themed trails, usually involving a costume or special kind of alcohol. The infamous Red Dress Run, the beer mile, Jerry Garcia's birthday, the Betty Ford memorial, any major or minor holiday, basically any excuse for a hasher to let loose will be used.

The trail will eventually end, and the "circle" will start. Various infractions will be punished, such as finishing first, finishing last, wearing any article of clothing mentioning competitive running, having a birthday, wearing new shoes...the list goes on and on. Punishment comes in the form of being serenaded with a time honored risqué limerick just before downing a bit of beer. You do not have to drink beer to attend a hash, but it makes the festivities easier to understand.
A typical Colorado hash will include folks from all fitness levels. From ultramarathoners to two-pack-a-day smokers. But the atmosphere is laid back and non-competitive, and any race-like behavior is strongly discouraged. In fact, it is not uncommon to have a few fast runners get lost on trail, only to finish up with the folks who walked the trail already enjoying a brew.

The front range has several kennels to choose from. Here in the Springs, there are two groups to hash with on opposing Saturdays, the Colorado Kimchi Hash House Harriers (CKH3) and the Pikes Peak Hash House Harriers and Harrierettes (P2H4). In general, the Kimchi hash involves more drinking than running, and vice versa for the P2H4. We also sometimes have a DIM (Damn, It's Monday) hash, which tends to gather the more serious runners. Other options include hashes in Denver, Fort Collins, Boulder, and Durango. Shucks, even Pueblo gets into the act every now and then.

The options don't end in Colorado, however. Kennels can be found worldwide, anywhere from Iraq or Afghanistan (which includes several Navy ships deployed to those locations) to bike week in Sturgis, SD. Hash megacenters such as Washington DC or Atlanta give one the option of hashing every night of the week.

As a first time hasher, you will be a "virgin". After doing something really stupid or on your fifth-ish hash, which ever comes first, you will be named. Your hashing name will stick with you forever unless you top your original stupidity with another stupendous event. Some of the few printable names from local harriers include Chucky Cheeks, Nuthin' But Net, Hoover Daaamn, and NASCOCK. Do not go to your first trail and suggest a name, you will not like the results.

If you want to become a local hasher, tailgate any vehicle displaying the Hash House Harriers footprint with the On-On logo or visit the "receding hareline" web site at www.ckh3.net and just show up. There are no dues and you don't have to "belong" to any kennel, but you will have to pay $5 for the free beer. If your interest is peaked and you want to try a hash but you don't want to put your pristine character in jeopardy, consider this - many of the Colorado hashers are entrusted with this countries most highly classified military secrets, even if they are running down Platte avenue in a red dress.

7 comments:

Kirk said...

Faster...Funnier!!!

Seriously, good article!!

Lick My Lincoln said...

I'm not wearing any pants.

This blog sucks.

Good job, wanker!

Outdoorgirl said...

The last line rocks.....

Nick said...

I agree Dani, the last line was pretty great.

Good article, wanker.

Late Nite Drive Thru said...

Whoa! Hoover qualifies as a local already??

brownie said...

We made a deal last night, she wanted to see her name published. I won't tell you what she had to do...

BRAE said...

You said "Shucks"! You ARE gay.