Wednesday, November 30, 2005

BCG night run

As much as I'm over there, one would think the Barton Creek Greenbelt trails would get boring. Nope. But I really get excited when it's time for a night run over there!

And really, super excited when it's a speedwork night!

The schedule called for a fartlek workout along the Shady loop. Ten minute warm up, then three minutes hammering followed by two minutes easy followed by three minutes hammering and so on. Running fast on the BCG during the day is difficult, so doing it at night, with my tiny green flashlight, is downright treacherous. It's a very technical trail, tons of rocks and roots and steep inclines and uneven ground. But hey, gotta get the miles in.

As a bonus, Melissa and Stayfree showed up at the start for the Hill Country Trail Runners weekly trail jog, and I was able to convince them both to come along for a tougher run. And we had a blast! Warm-up down the Hill of Life and across Barton Creek, over to the Shady Loop. Night fartleks on these trails rocked! No moon tonight, so all you had was your flashlight. Jumping from rock to rock, root to root, ducking under trees, crawling up the steep hills, can't beat it! Tons of fun, but if you lose concentration for a split second it's gonna cost you, as Melissa's possibly broken finger can attest!

Hard down the line, slow down the Hill of Death, we were supposed to cross back over Barton Creek and head back to the Hill of Life. We unanimously decided that taking a shot at the hump in the dark was too good to pass up. The hump is just as technical as Shady loop, but the trail is a lot harder to see, especially at night. Had to take it a bit slower to make sure we didn't get too lost, but we had a ball. Eventually found our way up and over the hump, and caught a dry stream bed back down to Barton Creek. Across BC and back to the HOL for a grand total of one hour and forty five minutes of night trails.

jingle bell ride

The Austin Ridge Riders do this every year, though this year is gonna be a lot smaller and a bit less organized. It is a non-competitive ride, through downtown and the Trail of Lights. Never done it before, but it should be a good time.



It's on Sunday, December 18th, 6PM.

Ass Wanker!

Everyone welcome the newest loser to rush to the blog fad, Ass Gagger!

Gag 'Em

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Founders Hash!


As if we haven't done enough to help the hash world by spreading kennels all over the place, a bunch of local Founders are gonna lay a kick ass trail for yunz guys this Sunday!

Your hares:

She Mussel Bitch (Austin OTR H3)
Pumper Up The Butt (CoTex H3)
Smegma Balls (Iguana H3)
Batguano Man (San Antonio H3)
Butt Pirate (Hill Country H3)
Death By Dildo (Austin Full Moon H3)
Tuck It Up The Butt (Austin Full Moon H3)
Body (Palm Beach H3)
brownie (Guantanamo Bay H3)

If I've forgotten any local Founder (Deep Throat?), or you happen to start a new hash before Sunday, get ahold of me and you too can take part in this monumental effort.

Anyways, here's the details:

When: Sunday, December 4. 1:30PM. 1330hrs for yunz military types.

Where: Barton Creek Greenbelt Trailhead at the corner of Republic of Texas Blvd and Sendero Drive. To get there, take MOPAC South and exit Southwest Parkway. Heading west on Southwest Parkway, the first traffic light will be Republic of Texas Blvd. Take a right, and continue on down ROT Blvd a good ways 'till you hit Sendero (it's a T-intersection, you can't go any further on ROT Blvd). Make a left onto Sendero into the cul-de-sac and park. If you remember the Pikes Peak hash, we had a beer check here. Out of towners please feel free to e-mail me for better directions.

Why: 'cuz it's a killer greenbelt trail! And the hares all rock! Or at least brownie rocks enough to make up for the deficiencies of the other wankers. Live lay, as all real trails are.

Other: Your feet will get wet. You will probably twist an ankle or two. You will get poked by sticks. Your dogs will love it (assuming they don't run away and get lost). You will curse the hares. You will get run over by crazy mountain bikers. One or two of you will probably have a heart attack. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll hurl. And if you have to ask me how hard it is going to be, it is obviously going to be too hard for you, so please stay home.

And, as an added bonus, because you can never get enough Pittsburgh flavor at your hash, the infamous Moon will be making an appearance!

Monday, November 28, 2005

CenTex H3

I always get a kick out of Austin hashers when they complain about the lack of hashing opportunities here. And it happens quite a lot. The battle cry always seems to be "in DC you can hash every night of the week...." Which is theoretically possible but probably a logistical impossibility. It's not like all of those hashes are actually in Washington DC, they include the surrounding areas like Baltimore and Annapolis and other nearby cities, which often take well over 60 minutes to get to due to capital city traffic.

Anyways, these same hashers are always crying about how they wish they could hash more often somehow fail to realize that within 90 miles of Austin you have five regular hashes (Austin, San Antonio, Kiss My Hash, Hill Country, Eat Me) and a bunch of smaller, less regular gatherings (Brenham, Heart of Texas, OTR, several bashes, any of the dozen or so "moon" themed Austin hashes). Not to mention that within roadtrip distance you have Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston, Space City, Galveston, Mosquito, and Corpus Christi.

In fact, I'd argue that we're one of the top five hashing meccas in the U.S. DC, Atlanta, NYC, Philadelphia, but that's about it. Probably one or two I'm forgetting because I've been drinking, but then again you could also lump the NYC/Philly/DC megapolis together, since they're so close. And of course, I don't count Caliafornia hashes, since CA hashers are a bunch of panzees.

So all this bitching and moaning from Austinites, I figured that once I announced the hash "triathlon" of doing Eat Me, San Antonio, and Austin in three days we'd have a huge convoy of vehicles making the trip. Nope. Only one brave hasher riding shotgun with me each day. Wussies. "Waahhh, it's too far. Waahhh, I'm too busy." Whatever. On top of the triathlon I managed to fit in the Scabs, the Wine & Cheese party, several hours of running at Walnut Creek, and coordinated the Turkey Trot pre and post race booze, not to mention the debacle that was Thanksgiving night. I'm not bragging, just pointing out that we have a lot of posers in the Austin hash.

Just some food for thought. Next time some Austinite wants to start the "Fat Chick Waning Moon H3" (it'll probably be sometime this week) they should instead put that effort into organizing a road trip somewhere. I'll be the first to sign up!

Eat Me

Friday it was off to College Station for the Eat Me (a play on the Texas A&M university logo, for those not familiar with shitty Texas colleges) H3 "International" trail. International because, uh, Ass Gagger and I had come all the way from Austin to do trail.

But hey, gotta drive that far, might as well sample the local flavor! Being that Friday was game day for the annual Texas/Texas A&M grudge match, we stopped by Dudley's to watch the game. Lots and lots of orange there. And they weren't disappointed, as UT beat up on A&M. I had trouble rooting for someone. I'd love for UT to lose so I could call Swallow and Slut Slinger and give them hell. But if UT loses, Penn State will play in the Rose Bowl, and I certainly can't hope for that to happen. So I made the decision to just drink a lot of beer during the game. Good call on my part.

Anyways, then it was off to the hash. It was "international" because a halliburton dude who is going to Iraq soon was supposed to show. But he bailed, probably drunk and passed out back at Kyle Field. But there were about ten of us who showed, including those from "international" places like Houston and Bryan. And we were treated to a fine trail hared by Red Foreskin. A good urban trail with some cool shiggy thrown in. Got to see a bunch of wanks I hadn't seen in a while, Red and Yard Ralph, Rubbin' the Boy Wanker, and a few others who I can't remember, so that was cool. And believe it or not, after the FRBs fell for a killer false laid by the hare, Ass Gagger ended up FRB at the end of trail!

Circle, RA'd by Yard Ralph, was good. Few new songs, including "Anal Bleaching" by the Houston crew. I even sang a glorious rendition of the UT fight song to the Aggie crew. Actually, I only knew the first line of the song, so I belted out "The Ides of Texas Are Upon You" and immediately went into "Hot Vagina." But hey, it's the thought that counts.

After the hash I had to bolt since the Scabs show was that night. Would have liked to stuck around, visited some of the local watering holes. Guess a return trip will be in order soon.


Ain't no party like a Scabs party!

Gawd I love seeing the Scabs! Always a good, drunken time. Nothing different last Friday night. Arrived pretty late, around 11PM, but pleanty of time go booze it up before Bob and his crew took the stage.

Lewis & Cock, Ass Gagger, and I (C'Em's pussy hurt and he had gone to bed at 9PM), after a few drinks at the house, were present. We met Tarantula and her sister at the show.

Typical Scabs show. Lots of lyrics about pussy and the many diffenent ways to eat it. Lots of guitar solos played on a hot chick's ass. Lots of songs about picking up crack whores at the local HEB. Lots of Schniz pounding away at the drums. They didn't play my favorite tune, "Pussy Fever", but that was about the only disappointment. They did play "Tarantula" though, and I actually got Tarantula to do a shot of jager with me during it.

Next up on the concert schedule would probably be Monte Montgomery. I'll definitely be at his Antone's gig on Christmas night, but I'd like to catch him at the Saxon before that. I think he's playing there every Tuesday in December.

I Like Your Boobs

"I Like Your Boobs" is a Colorado hasher buddy of mine. Knowing how much I've partied with him, I can't imagine he holds down an actual job. Laurent Fox is his real name. One of the original Brass Monkey Breakfast crew!


Put the guy on your x-mas card list, gotta support the poor hashers stuck overseas!

LtCol Laurent Fox
APO AE 09356

turkey weekend

My friend from Albany waited until the last possible second to cancel, sending my weekend plans down the toilet, but I still managed to have a great weekend nonetheless.

Wanna say thanks to everyone who invited me into their house for Thanksgiving. Michael and Rhonda, as well as DBD and her bitch Tuck It. Except for SWB and TAF's families hogging all my Iron City, it was a great turkey day.

I'll post more detailed trash later, but my long weekend included the Turkey Trot, the Scabs, the whine & cheese party, Barfly, and hash roadtrips to College Station and San Antonio (including Austin I traveled over 500 miles to hash this weekend).

Sunday, November 27, 2005


News article on the Hashathon, a trail "race" put on by the Rumson H3. The Burnet Road Challenge was basically a knock-off of the RH3 "Ten Miles/Ten Bars" event, and I often pondered putting on an event such as the Hashathon. Think the Rogue trail runs have taken that place though.

Mark Griggs is Latecummer, who has hashed in Austin several times. Even hared the TXIH pre-lube pube crawl with me a few years ago.


Thursday, November 24, 2005

Eat Me

Anyone up for a road trip to College Station tomorrow? I've never hashed with the Eat Me wankers, I think Friday would be a good day to start.

Also looking at a trip to San Antonio on Sat for their hash.

Turkey Trot

Great day for a race! It had been a LONG time since I had raced such a short distance, but I can't go missing a Turkey Trot.

Woke early, after a good night of drinking, to call my dad in PA to wish him luck in his Turkey Trot, the Newport Moose 10K. He said he couldn't go, it had snowed and there was ice on the roads. Sucks to be him. Here in Austin it was sunny with highs in the 80s!

Due to my recent foray into ultra distances, I figured I had lost any speed I may have had at one point. My PR for 5 miles is on this course (29:45), but I figured I'd be far away from that. Was gunning for something between 33 and 34 minutes. The fact that, at 8:45AM, Rafael and I were already drinking jager figured to push that time upwards.

Got a nice surprise at the start. While waiting for the race to begin, I saw Grind Slut from the Houston H3. So while the serious runners were stretching and warming up, GS and I were discussing the proper foods to eat before the beer mile so you wouldn't throw up. He suggests something fatty, like fish, which he believes helps to neutralize the foam in your stomach when you chug an entire can of Miller High Life, the beer of choice for the H4 beer mile. Interesting theory, I pointed out, and I told him that I'd still kick his ass no matter what he ate for the next one.

Star Spangled Banner, some loser aggie speech by Gov. Perry, and the race begins. I settle into a nice rhythm. The jager had left a nice taste in my mouth and had taken some of the pressure off to run fast. Hit the first mile in 6:30, feeling pretty well. Second mile passes in 13 minutes. I'm on pace for a 32:30 and feeling pretty good.

Major part of the race occurs just after two miles. The Crown & Anchor is closed. Had it been open I would have gone in for a beer, ruining any chance of a fast time.

Just past the C&A is a long hill, which I push. Pass a lot of runners in fancy running clothes. I recover on the long downhill. Three miles passes in 19:30, I'm keeping a pretty steady pace. I know that if I can keep the same pace for the final two miles I will pass a ton of people, many of whom ran the first mile too fast and will have to pay the price.

Through campus, the four mile mark comes in 25:40. I am passing people constantly. One mile to go. I decide to turn it on.

Probably passed 50 people in the last mile. Including some of my runner friends like Marty, a Pikes Peak buddy, and Amy, a recent Ironman Hawaii finisher. Major bragging rights there. Even passed a bunch of the Round Rock XC team, no way those guys could hold a candle to the '93 Shikellamy team!

Pass Waterloo Park we raced, to that damn hill! Not very long but sheesh is it steep. I was starting to die here, but I chugged it out. At the top of the hill it's a quarter mile downhill finish, which I had to sprint because I knew Marty was gonna make a push at me.

Finished in 31:31, a time I had no business running. Finished 66th out of 1767 runners. And, I may add, I beat the top times in the Aggie and Longhorn alumni sections. So while yunz guys blab on about who is the best school in Texas, remember that a Pitt alumni, who stayed up late drinking, and got up early to start drinking, kicked all your asses! HAIL TO PITT!

After the race it was time for beers and Wild Turkey. Kudos to all the hashers who finished: She Wanker Bitch, Rafael, Ass Gagger, Heavin' Semen, Free Meat, Just Head, Snapping Twat, Lewis & Cock, Twin Peaks, La Fortuna. There may have been others, sorry if I forgot anyone.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Zane Grey

Talked with my coach over lunch. Zane Grey has a reputation as one of the most difficult trail runs out there, and a friend has recently planted a bug in my ear about running it. My issue is rest, I was planning on taking a month off after Bandera, but I may now try to run through April, attempt Zane Grey, take a few weeks off, then begin preperation for my Longs/Pikes run.

Zane Grey

This plan would also allow me to do the Houston and Austin marathons.

Gonna wait and see how Sunmart and Bandera go before committing, but I'll probably have a possible training schedule together before the long weekend is over.

San Antonio hash

Anyone up for a quick road trip on Saturday? SA is hashing at 3:30PM. Not sure I can make it on Sunday, so I gotta get my fix in early.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Tex-Mex Interhash

Some of yunz newbys have been asking about the El Paso Tex-Mex Interhash weekend. One of the best hash weekends ever! Here's some reasons why:


And, just because I'm bored, here are some other hash trips I'm planning on taking:

Texas Interhash March 24-26, 2006 South Austin, Texas

USA Nash Hash May 26-29, 2006 Sierra Vista, Arizona

Colorado Invihash Sept 1-4, 2006 Durango, Colorado

IAH 2007 August 31 to Sept 3, 2007 Pureto Vallarta, Mejico

World Interhash 2008 Perth, Australia (hopefully!)

IAH 2009 September 2009 Rumson, New Jersey

H.A.W.K. happy hour

I propose we have the first ever H.A.W.K. (Hashers Against Whiney Kunts) happy hour Wednesday, 5:30PM, at Lovejoy's. I will walk over immediately after work and stay 'till it's time to hit the Alamo. Gotta support the hash bar while we still can.

The Alamo show is $8. Great price for a movie (it's actually a documentary on a Swiss record label, so it's edumacational 'n shit) and a one man band!

state benefits

Squakin' just said to me, "Do you want me to go down for you?" And of course I replied, "Yeah, right after you get me a coffee, bitch!"

malt liquor hash

Reviewing pics for the hashmas party, these were pretty good.


Voodoo Rhythm and John Schooley

After the H.A.W.K. happy hour tomorrow night, I'm gonna head (who said head?) over to the Alamo to check this out.


Seems like a pretty cool movie, and John Schooley rocks!

Anyone wanna join me?

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Bluff Creek/Rocky Hill

Yet another fantastic weekend spend on the trails.

Early Saturday morning it was off to Warda for the Cardiac 44 mile run. I was kinda nervous, my previous long run was only about 35 miles, so this was gonna be pushing the envelope. For those that don't know, Warda is Bluff Creek Ranch, less than five miles away (and on the same road) from the place Slut had his campout at. It's mainly a mountain bike ranch, more for beginners than it's cousin down I-71, Rocky Hill Ranch. I have biked out here often and have my Dirty Du PR on the course, so I knew going in what to expect.

Start time was 9AM, weather was perfect. Overcast and mid-60s. We actually did the eleven mile bike course backwards, something I've never done before. Had some issues on the first lap, twisted my left ankle three different times, and twisted my right ankle pretty bad, was worried that was gonna be an issue later in the race. Warda is a fast mountain bike course so I was thinking I'd have a shot at a decent time, but all the twists and turns and rocks and roots kept me from getting into a decent rhythm. I limped through the first lap in 1:45.

Second lap was a lot of the same. I was nursing my right ankle, and this was causing me to trip even more than usual. I was towards the back of the pack here, and panic was slowly starting to set in. In my defense, most of the folks in front of me were either doing 22 miles or doing 11 miles as part of a relay, but I couldn't tell and had to assume they were all doing the long run. Returned to the barn, the start/stop of each lap, in just over three and a half hours. Was feeling better here than after my first lap, but overall I just wasn't feeling "it" and I knew the second half of the race was gonna be tough.

So I begin the slog out to the third lap. I actually get a second wind here and begin to push the pace a little more. Pass a few people here, pass a few people there. I start to think I still may have a chance at breaking seven hours, an unrealistic goal I had going into the race. Looking back at my splits now, even though I thought I was picking it up, I wasn't. That third lap I just managed to slow down less than everyone I passed. And with about four miles to go on that third lap, things started to fall apart. Cramps came, the legs got heavy, a 33 mile run started to sound like a great idea. I plodded into the barn in fifth place.

These drastic times called for drastic measures. And of course, when the going gets tough, the jager bombs! Yes, I had a secret weapon waiting for me in the barn, a hidden stash of red bull and jager. Took an empty paper cup from the aid station and made myself a strong drink. There were quite a few people in the barn at this time, and they couldn't believe their eyes when I pulled out a 2 liter bottle of jager. So after wasting a couple 'o minutes hitting on ugly, fat chicks, I stumbled out the barn and began my last lap.

Another secret weapon I had was Melissa. After winning the 22 mile portion of the race, she waited around and went out for that last lap with me. I cannot thank her enough, I still would have finished without her but my time would have been A LOT slower without her out there pushing me. FYI, she is neither ugly nor fat.

Last loop was uneventful save for the physical punishment my body was going through. Received a small mental boost at the first aid station, at 36 miles, knowing it was a new personal record for distance. Same thing at the next aid station, my first 40 miler. From there it was just putting one foot in front of the other without tripping on a root or rock (easier said than done after seven hours of running). And before I knew it, it was over. Final time was 7:39:46, good for third place overall. Yeah, only seven finished, but that's a testiment to the very few who had the balls to go the distance! Not sure how many started and dropped out, but quite a few took the 33 mile option.

Good day for some of my buddies though. The winner, Mark Henderson, threw up several times but still managed to kick ass, his usual SOP. Of course Melissa won again, congrats. The winner of the men's 22 mile run, Frank Ceresa, had dueled with me a few weeks ago at Rocky Raccoon, good to see him run well. And kudos to Geraldo Ramierez, who was kicking my ass for three laps, then blew out a knee. Despite the extreme pain, he struggled through the final lap to finish the race. Of course I've gotta say congrats to fellow Roguers TJ and Alan for tough finishes as well.

After the race it was off to enjoy the fine camping at Bluff Creek. And, of course, the fine cheeseburgers! Drank a bunch of beers around a fire with Melissa and team "two goose'n waters" who had won the relay 22 mile race earlier that day.

No rest for the weary. After a quick nap in Ruby, Melissa and I were off to Rocky Hill ranch, for the second of back-to-back long runs. Rocky Hill is a bit more difficult terrain than Warda, so I wasn't looking forward to this run. Especially the first two miles, as I was still sore as hell and would have to face my nemesis, Fat Chuck.

Well, Fat Chuck won once again, but shortly thereafter I got into a groove and started running somewhat well. Saw all the old trails. Karaway, easy pickens, off the lip, frontal lobotmy, bottle-in-front-o-me, longhorn loop, and tris cross. After planning for a two hour run, Melissa and I found ourselves over two hours into it at this point, and still had several miles to go to get back to the saloon. So regretfully I didn't get to do my favorite section of Rocky Hill, including Omar's Howl and the Tunnel o' Pines. Bummer. But I did get her to agree to cut across the powerline on the way back, so I could have one more crack at Fat Chuck. He won again. But that's OK, I'm gonna kick his ass at the next Dirty Du!

After the run, 2:39:15 total, it was, or course, immediately over to the Saloon. Rocky Hill burgers...mmmmm...and Shiner. Very yummy, and very much deserved.

Ended up covering 100 kilometers over two days. Needless to say, I'm sore and will have trouble walking for a few days. Hope to recover in time for the Turkey Trot!

Friday, November 18, 2005

hell yeah!

Go get 'em, Murtha! He's a PA senator, by the way. About time someone on capitol hill grew some balls.

"I like guys who've never been there who criticize us who've been there," Murtha said. "I like that. I like guys who got five deferments and never been there and sent people to war and then don't like to hear suggestions that what may need to be done."


Been off the AH3 yahoo list for some time, though I have just recently logged back on to see what the fuss was about.

Rafael, I think it's soon time for a H.A.W.K. happy hour. Are you free on Wednesday? A good friend of mine is coming into town, and I'd like to show her Lovejoy's. Then maybe go toMugshot's and get her liquored up on jager. I will bring the cigarettes. Might even be a stogie night!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

night ride

Another Thursday, another Walnut Creek night ride!

Troy and I met once again at the main parking lot. Started with the usual loop. It was friggin' chilly at first, but once I got warmed up I felt pretty good. Certainly rode a lot better than the week before, hopefully my mountain biking skills will be in good form for the upcoming Dirty Du season (I have a great challenge this season - Johnboy from Houston will be doing them too; I'm gonna kick his ass!).

About 45 minutes into the ride Troy's light went out, so we had to cut the workout short. It was quite the mess, getting back to the cars with one rider not having any light. At one point we were arguing over which way to go, and it turns out the parking lot was only 50 meters away, in a direction neither of us were pointing. Troy and I have been to Walnut Creek Park several hundred times between us, and we still get lost all the time. Such is the beauty of those trails!

After the ride it was off to Mickey's for a few beers. Quality pub. Don't tell Squeeze Box this, but they don't enforce the smoking ban there. In fact, one of the guys even had one of those mechanical voice things like Ned from South Park, and he was chain smoking! It was awesome! Character, that place definitely has it. There were no supermodels in short skirts, no bud light specials, no 136 foot plasma television screen for bandwagon Astros fans, but I'd rather spend time in Mickey's than any of those yuppie bars any day!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hill of Life

It had been almost 24 hours since I had last been to the Hill of Life, and I was jonesin' for another fix. So immediately after a hard day of bustin' nurses, it was off to fight traffic for the right to have my ass kicked. Pretty good workout, only did six repeats due to the Warda/Rocky Hill trip looming this weekend. Four of those repeats were in the dark, though, which made them even tougher. All in all it took me 80 minutes to log six round trips, a bit slow but I was taking those downhills very easy, didn't want to fall and break anything.


Lovejoy's, one of my favorite bars in the world and a sponsor of the Austin hash, will be closing it's doors in four months. Turns out the huge rush of non-smokers who were supposed to overrun the local pubs once the smoking ban went into effect never bothered to show up. LJ's becomes the first casulty of the ban, probably more to come. I swear, if they put a starbucks in there once it closes I'm gonna burn the building down.

It's a pretty big hit for beer fans in the city of Austin too. With the fire at the Bitter End and now LJ's, there are precious few brew pubs left. North by Northwest and Draft House, I think that's it.

Sad days.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Full Moon

Yes, I am overjoyed at the thought of having to hare tomorrow's full moon. Fitting though, as it is the Beaver moon and I'm the only harrier in the AH3 who ever gets any of that.

Anyways, hares away at 6:45PM, hounds leave at 7PM. This is a real trail, not a pub crawl, and I cannot start any later since I don't wanna be out there all night. Hounds will need a change of clothes and a flashlight. Once again, this is a very tough trail, especially since it's at night. There is shiggy. There is technical rock running. If you're a pussy please stay home. If you have to ask me any question concerning the trail, don't hash tomorrow. Show up on time, ready to hash, or don't show up at all. And don't plan on autowanking, there will be no map to the end.

On a better note, She Wanker Bitch is in charge of food (as well as embarassing you fools on a live lay), so there may actually be something to eat when trail is finished.

Hash Trash 11/14/05

I chased a stupid dog around for three hours.

The End.

trails, brews, and burgers

Weekend shaping up to be pretty awesome.

Sat morning it's off to Bluff Creek Ranch in Warda for the Cardiac run. 44 miles, if I make it through it'll be the longest I've ever run by almost ten miles. Found out that there is a two person 22 mile relay, only 11 miles each (DOF and Rafael?).


Saturday night me and a few friends are gonna camp out at Warda. Of course supper that night will include a yummy Wardaburger, tater tots, and lots of beer. Camping at BCR is fun, the sites are all around a pond and you can have open fires.

Sun morning, after a quick dip in the pond, it's off to Rocky Hill for a nice, easy 20 miler. Running 20 at Rocky is probably equal to the effort of running 30 at Bluff Creek, it's a lot more technical and a lot more hilly. Fat Chuck is going to kick my ass once again, one day I will topple him though. Of course lunch on Sun will be at the Rocky Hill Saloon and will include one of their huge bacon cheeseburgers and plenty of beer.

Rocky Hill

All this on top of the Full Moon trail on Tues, Hill of Life repeats on Wed, and the Pub Run on Thurs. Woohoo!

Sunday, November 13, 2005


I just shelled out $51 for a new flashlight. I'd like to thank the dickhead at Slut's campout who stole my last one.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Reimer's Ranch

Mountain biking out at Reimer's Ranch today. Beautiful trails! Did about 15 miles with the local mountain bike club. Reimer's would be considered intermediate, but due to my recent drought on the bike, there were a lot of obstacles that gave me troubles. I did make most of them though, including some steep drop offs and some gnarly downhill stuff. No major wrecks, no flats, nice weather, pretty great ride.

After the ride and a few post trail Fat Tires, I took a walk around. Down the creek to the rock climbers hangout, past Sex Cave, down to the rope swing at the Perdenales River. I'm so glad the recent vote went the right way, I couldn't bear the thought of a Starbucks or McDonald's opening up out here. Reimer's will officially become county property on Dec 15. $5 to get in, but well worth every penny. Hope to have a hash out there soon, and possibly another bash ride even sooner.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Cliff Yablonski

Thought I'd post this here. This guy about sums up my current attitude towards life.

I hate you!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Penile Probe

Many of you out there know PP from the Hill Country hash. He's currently deployed to everyone's favorite beach, Iraq. Think he's somewhere in the Baghdad area. If anyone wants to drop him a line, here's his address. Tomorrow is Vet's day, so take a minute to write him and tell him what a wanker he is.

SSG Dennis Lockert
4th ID 'C' Co. 2/4 AVN REGT
APO AE 09378

4ID were the guys I spend a year in Tikrit with. Had I stayed in I'd be on my way back over there.


Congrats to the new junta (suckers)! First bitch: what's up with Texas Interhash running $100? It's the most expensive TXIH ever. San Antonio did it for half that. Hell, Hill Country did it for less than that and those guys can't plan for shit. Please correct this problem ASAP.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Scott Jurek

One of my heros, Scott Jurek (seven time WS100 winner and Badwater Ultra course record holder) has rego'd for the Freescale (Austin) Marathon. Will be interesting to see how Scotty does on a road marathon. A lot of my wanker road running friends always talk about how they could whoop him on the roads, here's their chance.

Laura Cantrell

Laura Cantrell is at Waterloo Records at 5PM today if anyone is interested. Free St. Arnold's beer. Good way to warm up for hash elections. Not even sure if I'm going to DD's though, there are a few hashers grating on my nerves right now and I'm not sure if I wanna deal with them tonight. We'll see.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


Couple 'o pics some buddies of mine took from Sat's marathon.

Rocky 1

Rocky 2

LNDT, you rock, I don't care what Bleeder says about you.


Congrats to the Pikes Peak H3 on their 500th hash! Woohoo, can't wait to get up and party with yunz guys again! Shots at the world's smallest bar are on me!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Holiday Hill Country Trail Tour

Friday, December 16
Leave Austin, Texas at 10AM from RunTex Riverside
10AM-Noon: Travel to Government Canyon in NW San Antonio
Noon-1pm: Check in, get situated, water & fuel ready.
1pm-4pm: 3 hour Trail Run in Government Canyon
4pm-5pm: Drive to Hill Country SNA (35 min drive)
5pm-6pm: Check in, set up camp, dinner prep
6pm-7pm: Dinner
7pm- 10pm: Smack Talk

Saturday, December 17
6am-8am: Wake up & Breakfast
8am-11am: 3 hour Trail Run in Hill Country SNA
11am-5pm: Relax
5pm-6pm: Dinner
6pm-8pm: Smack Talk
8pm-10pm: Night Run

Sunday, December 18
6am-8am: Wake up & Breakfast
8am-9am: Drive to Lost Maples SNA
9am-10am: Check in, get situated, water & fuel ready.
10am-Noon: 2 hour Trail Run in Lost Maples SNA
Noon-2pm: Drive back to Austin

Yup, yup, the Bandera Rogues and a few other yahoos are working on a nice Christmas trip. Sure beats heading out to the mall for last minute shopping. Should be a good time, and it'd probably be my last difficult week of training before my first attempt at 100K.

So the remainder of my run schedule is basically set.

November 19th, Warda 44 miler
December 10th, Sunmart 50 miler
December 16th to 18th, Holiday Trail Tour
January 7, Bandera 100K

After Bandera I'll stay somewhat active in order to do the Freescale (Austin) marathon, and then I'll take some time off. Gonna put some work back into all the trails I've been tearing up. Volunteering for the Rocky Raccoon 100 mile race in Feb, also gonna volunteer for some of the local trail groups around here, like Bull Creek, Walnut Creek, Brightleaf, and Reimers (hopefully; depending on how the vote tomorrow goes they may be building a Starbucks there come Feb).

Come April/May, I'll start ramping up for the Colorado trip.

A lot of runners see the above distances and think I'm some kind of idiot. And yes, on some weekends, I do go a bit above what needs to be done for basic fitness. But other than that my runs are normal. On a rare weekday, if I have time, I'll do the ten mile Town Lake loop. Usually though I'll run three days of the week, five or six miles. True, on trails, that distance takes a little longer to do, but it's not that bad. I'd much rather run an hour on trails than 45 minutes on road anyways.

Rocky Trails Marathon

The day didn't get off to a good start, my alarm going off at 3:30AM after getting to bed around 2AM. Not the way you want to begin a marathon day. But soon Melissa arrived and we were on our way to Inks Lake State Park for the Rocky Trails marathon.

They did have coffee at the start line, which was a good sign. Plus we got an awesome t-shirt, one without any ads on it, very rare these days. Even had homemade rice krispy treats, the day was definitely improving.

Race began with 43 runners. It was basically a three loop race around the park. Great trail! Kind of like a mix between Bull Creek park and Bandera. Hills certainly weren't as difficult as Bandera, but there was some super technical rock running. Another fun section was climbing up the rock, a huge dome you had to run up and over. From descriptions I think it's similiar to Enchanted Rock, though I've never been to ER. Lots of aid stations, including "Shan's Irish Pub," one of the cooler aid stations I've ever seen. And yes, on my last loop, I did stop to have a bottle of Guinness. Next year Shan promised she'd have an Irish Car Bomb waiting for me.

Started conservatively. Was in about 8th place after one lap. Even had two females in front of me, both friends of mine. I picked it up on the second lap and moved up steadily. Finally got Melissa and Meredith behind me, they woulda ragged me for a while had they beaten me. Came around the second time in 5th place.

By this time things were starting to heat up. It was 85 degrees in Burnet, and the sun sure was heating up those rocks. I was hurting pretty bad on that last lap, but I was able to hold things together enough to pass two more runners. The Guinness really helped things and I held a pretty good pace over the last three or so miles. Finished up in 3rd place, with a time of 4:04:07. I'm pretty happy with the effort, and it wins me a case of beer from Emily. Oh, ended up winning another six pack this weekend, off Slummy, sorry we had to beat up on your Pack like that, SB.

Kudos goes out to Melissa for her first marathon win. I was afraid I'd hafta give a ride home to a gal who got a bigger trophy than me, but they ended up being the same size.

Next up is the Warda Cardiac Run and Relay. I'm doing the 44 mile run, but they also have a 22 mile run and a two or four person relay. I'll be going out the night before to camp, Bluff Creek is a pretty cool place (it's less than four miles from where Slut's campout was). Some of you budding marathoners out there might wanna look into doing this, I saw the finishers awards and they're worth having.

Friday, November 04, 2005

What's Your Pimp Name?

Your Pimp Name Is...

White Chocolate Tease

Nickel Creek, Rocky Trails, and Slut's campout!

Big, big weekend coming up!

Was gonna head out to Burnet to camp tonight, but lucky for me Nicole won free Nickel Creek tickets! Great band, saw them once at Waterloo Records but they've gotten much bigger since then. So after work it's off to Lovejoy's for a few pints before heading over to Stubb's for the show!

Tomorrow at the ass crack of dawn (4:20AM, that early start will remind me of my Army days) Melissa and I are off to Inks Lake State Park (Burnet, TX) for the Rocky Trails marathon. My first trail marathon, I have to break 4:30 to win a case of Lone Star off Emily so I'll be bookin'. Hearing great things about the race, and have lots of friends going, so it should be a good time.

No rest for the weary, after the marathon it's off to La Grange for Slut Slingers 50th b-day/15th hashiversary/Full Moon 1 yr hashiversary/whatever else they could bunch into one weekend event! Woohoo! Good times, lots of outta town hashers I haven't seen in a while, looking forward to this one.

Once I recover Sun morning, Nicole and I are gonna bike Warda on the way home. Should be fun, good chance to scout the trail for the Cardiac 44 miler I have coming up there in two weeks.

Still having computer problems at home, I can get yahoo but not blogspot. Hence, the short, lousy posts lately. Bummer, 'cuz I'm starting to miss all the good pics on Late Night Drive Through's site, don't wanna get caught looking at them at work.

Time to go bust some more nurses.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

St. Ed's and this weekend

Nice night run along Bull Creek at St. Ed's park last night. Perfect weather. Don't know the trails too well out there, especially when it's dark. Only ran about 45 minutes, but got in some good technical stuff using the green lantern to light the way. Hoping to not need a light at Sunmart, but will definitely need one for Bandera, so the practice was good. Still a bit sore in the left achilles from the Challenge, but that should be all better by Saturday.

Saturday it's off to Inks Lake State Park for the Rocky Trails marathon. My first trail marathon, looking forward to it. Was planning on going out on Friday to camp, but I'm in the running for Nickel Creek tix so I might just drive out Sat morning.

And what would a weekend be without getting a good drunk on? After the marathon on Sat it's off to La Grange for Slut Slinger's 15th hashaversary campout. Kick some ass in three man, drink some jager, the get up the next morning for a ride at Bluff Creek Ranch in Warda! Woohoo!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

BRC pics

Pics from the Burnet Road Challenge are up on my ofoto site.

Yes, Grabber and I were asked to leave Lala's for drinking in the parking lot with a homeless bum. Yes, I threw up at Ginny's and was subsequently cut off. I guess those were the highlights, I can't remember much else.

Mofro/Galactic/New Monsoon

Halloween night it was off to Stubb's for the big show. Was pretty psyched, I'm a huge fan of all three bands and had heard that Galactic Halloween shows were pretty rowdy. Arrived early to check out all the Halloween costumes (the nurses and French maids were my favorite - thanks to all the Austin chicks who wore those!) and then met Lewis and Ass Gagger down there. Even ran into old hash hippie Blowhole.

Mofro kicked things off. Have seen these guys the last two times at ACL. Afraid to buy a CD because I don't think their sound will carry over to the studio very well, but they put on a great live show. Sort of like a Cake meets the Black Crowes kind of sound. Played for about an hour before it was time for Galactic.

I'm a huge Galactic fan, so I was looking forward to this, my first time seeing them live. And they didn't disappoint. A lot of their fans say the band isn't the same since the lead singer left (they're now an instrumental band) but I thought they rocked. Tons of guests came up (Ivan Neville came up and sang a few tunes; the guys from Mofro came back on for an encore of the Stones' "Can't Always Get What You Want"), lots of great solos, all in all a great show.

After Galactic, it was time for the bonus show, New Monsoon playing inside. I had accidentally caught these guys at ACL a few years ago, and I've followed them ever since. The show was amazing. Jam after jam after jam. The highlight of my night was probably their cover of Pink Floyd's "Fearless." They also played a great Who cover, and as much stuff off their second album as they could. Can't say they stole the show from Galactic, but they sure tried.

Show ended about 1:15AM, and I was even sober enough to make it back home through the army of police hanging out downtown.

Couple 'o pics from the show are at:

Not sure who's up next on the concert calendar. Boog is coming back into town for Turkey day, we might try to catch the Scabs once again, didn't quite make it last time. Still looking to see Cool Chilli Dog if anyone out there sees them playing.