Turkey Trot

Great day for a race! It had been a LONG time since I had raced such a short distance, but I can't go missing a Turkey Trot.

Woke early, after a good night of drinking, to call my dad in PA to wish him luck in his Turkey Trot, the Newport Moose 10K. He said he couldn't go, it had snowed and there was ice on the roads. Sucks to be him. Here in Austin it was sunny with highs in the 80s!

Due to my recent foray into ultra distances, I figured I had lost any speed I may have had at one point. My PR for 5 miles is on this course (29:45), but I figured I'd be far away from that. Was gunning for something between 33 and 34 minutes. The fact that, at 8:45AM, Rafael and I were already drinking jager figured to push that time upwards.

Got a nice surprise at the start. While waiting for the race to begin, I saw Grind Slut from the Houston H3. So while the serious runners were stretching and warming up, GS and I were discussing the proper foods to eat before the beer mile so you wouldn't throw up. He suggests something fatty, like fish, which he believes helps to neutralize the foam in your stomach when you chug an entire can of Miller High Life, the beer of choice for the H4 beer mile. Interesting theory, I pointed out, and I told him that I'd still kick his ass no matter what he ate for the next one.

Star Spangled Banner, some loser aggie speech by Gov. Perry, and the race begins. I settle into a nice rhythm. The jager had left a nice taste in my mouth and had taken some of the pressure off to run fast. Hit the first mile in 6:30, feeling pretty well. Second mile passes in 13 minutes. I'm on pace for a 32:30 and feeling pretty good.

Major part of the race occurs just after two miles. The Crown & Anchor is closed. Had it been open I would have gone in for a beer, ruining any chance of a fast time.

Just past the C&A is a long hill, which I push. Pass a lot of runners in fancy running clothes. I recover on the long downhill. Three miles passes in 19:30, I'm keeping a pretty steady pace. I know that if I can keep the same pace for the final two miles I will pass a ton of people, many of whom ran the first mile too fast and will have to pay the price.

Through campus, the four mile mark comes in 25:40. I am passing people constantly. One mile to go. I decide to turn it on.

Probably passed 50 people in the last mile. Including some of my runner friends like Marty, a Pikes Peak buddy, and Amy, a recent Ironman Hawaii finisher. Major bragging rights there. Even passed a bunch of the Round Rock XC team, no way those guys could hold a candle to the '93 Shikellamy team!

Pass Waterloo Park we raced, to that damn hill! Not very long but sheesh is it steep. I was starting to die here, but I chugged it out. At the top of the hill it's a quarter mile downhill finish, which I had to sprint because I knew Marty was gonna make a push at me.

Finished in 31:31, a time I had no business running. Finished 66th out of 1767 runners. And, I may add, I beat the top times in the Aggie and Longhorn alumni sections. So while yunz guys blab on about who is the best school in Texas, remember that a Pitt alumni, who stayed up late drinking, and got up early to start drinking, kicked all your asses! HAIL TO PITT!

After the race it was time for beers and Wild Turkey. Kudos to all the hashers who finished: She Wanker Bitch, Rafael, Ass Gagger, Heavin' Semen, Free Meat, Just Head, Snapping Twat, Lewis & Cock, Twin Peaks, La Fortuna. There may have been others, sorry if I forgot anyone.