rocks

No shit, there I was (fantastic, incredible, tell us about it muthafucker!) down at the rock gym. Minding my own business, thinking I’m a total badass because I’m working my way right up through all the rec routes.

Ex-stalkee girl sneaks up behind me and says, “hey, could you come help me with this problem I’m setting?”

I figure she wants me to tighten a fake rock to the wall or hold a ladder or something, so I follow her. She leads me over to the hard part of the gym, which I only visit if I’m cutting through there to get a drink of water, and says, “climb this and let me know what you think.”

So as I’m getting into the sit down start, which is already above my skill level, she tells me the route is a V5. I’ve completed V0 before, but it hasn’t been very pretty. Being an idiot, instead of letting her know I’m in way over my head, I try the route. I actually made it three moves into the problem in my lame attempt to impress her (by far my best three moves ever), but then on the fourth I fell hard to the real rocks below with a thud.

She looks at me pathetically and says, “Oh…well…it’s an easier route for shorter people.”