Dirty Du - Rocky Hill Ranch

Once again, it was time for one of my least favorite races of the year - the Dirty Du at Rocky Hill Ranch. Last year this race kicked my ass all over the place, left me sore for days. So of course I had signed up to come back as early as possible.

Arrived early, about 90 minutes before the start. Already had quite the fan club out there, as Melissa and Meredith (congrats on the WS entry, M!) were out there for an early run. Nicole arrived soon after, there to cheer on her buddy Evan.

I hung out for a while, drinking some coffee, tinkering with my bike, shooting the shit with some buddies I hadn't seen since the last Du. I was feeling pretty nervous, I knew I wasn't going to be strong on the bike. I also realized that I hadn't done a brick (that's a bike/run combined workout) in over half a year. And today I faced having to run Fat Chuck's, then having to bike a tough-ass 12 miles, then having to run Fat Chuck's again! It was not going to be pleasant.

But, the reason most of you are reading this, I was worried about the competition, or specifically, the competition provided by a certain 16 year old girl, who had kicked my ass last year at this same race. The couch potatoes out there who continually rag me about this are unaware that she'll soon probably have a major bike sponsorship, and don't listen to the fact that I did beat her at the two final Dirty Du's, but whatever. I was going to quiet the critics today.

It almost wasn't meant to be. Fifteen minutes 'till the start, and she's nowhere to be found. Afraid? Probably not. Maybe she was grounded or something.

Race starts, a pack of about 200 athletes starts off. Even the start of this race sucks, it's on a jeep road but there are big, loose rocks everywhere. And then it starts to climb. Up a grassy hill to the campsite, through a cow gate, and then on to Fat Chuck's. It is on the grassy climb that I meet my nemesis, the 16 year old. I think she had been hiding. She's already breathing heavily, not even a half mile into the race. Is she sick? Injured? Out of shape? I don't care, I quickly blow by her.

Had a pretty good first run, 3 miles. Fat Chuck's was rough, but I held my own with the competition. Finished in 23:40, a pretty good time for that stretch.

Into the transition area, feeling pretty good. I'm well ahead of the young'in, and I have a little confidence in the fact that I've done a few night rides recently. Maybe I'll make some noise on the bike. But hey, it's the transition area, why be in any hurry? Results show my T-time at over three minutes, and ranks this as the 129th quickest time out of 131 Du finishers! In fact, during this nap, Evan passes me and I never find him again.

Onto the bike. Riding at Rocky Hill, for a novice such as myself, is horrible. Rocks and roots bounce you everywhere, and it's very difficult to keep control of your bike. Throw in a lot of sand, tons of tight turns, and the fact that a lot of fast mountain bikers are gonna be blowing by me and it makes for a difficult day.

Nonetheless, I tear out of there. I actually pass a few people right away, as there is a long, non-technical climb to get to the real trails.

Onto the fun part. Right away there's a wreck, and without time to react I swerve around the fallen biker and hop over a huge root, peddling like a maniac. Less than a mile into the ride, and I've conquered an obstacle I would never attempt on a training ride. Very big confidence booster.

Trail continues through some of the classic Rocky Hill sections. Easy Up, Gray's Highway, Off the Lip, Frontal Lobotomy. Up across the power line to the Longhorn Loop and Tris Cross. Once again I was robbed, course did not go on Omar's Howl or the Tunnel 'o Pines, my second straight trip to RHR without my two favorite sections!

I was riding well. Yeah, a lot of folks were passing me, but I knew that was gonna happen. I was riding over a lot of obstacles I usually have to dismount for, so I was happy there. I had even managed to pass quite a few people myself.

Then, about eight miles into the twelve mile ride, I hear "passing on the left." I oblige, and the bike that goes by has the 16 year old on the saddle. Damn! I'm worried. With so long left on the ride, she has a chance to put a lot of ground on me, more than I can make up on the final run. I stay on her back wheel, and we talk for a bit. I mention to her that a lot of my buddies gave me a lot of shit for losing to a 15 year old girl last year. She doesn't miss a beat and says, "Are they gonna give you shit for losing to a 16 year old girl this year?" Wow, a worthy foe not only athletically, but also on the smack talking scene. But hey babe, the race ain't over yet!

Another long, non-technical hill, and I'm able to pass her. She sticks on my rear wheel for a while, but I can hear her breathing heavy and I think I may get her. She also knows I'll whoop her on the run, so every minute I'm ahead of her on the bike is a huge psychological blow.

We pass quite a few people during our duel. Then, just before Blac Trac, about 1.5 miles out, I turn to see how close she is and she's nowhere to be found. I've dropped her. But I continue to hammer, doing a lot of the super technical stuff I'm usually scared shitless about. I even attempted to ride The Wall, an obstacle I usually have trouble walking up. Almost made it too, didn't dismount 'till about 80% of the way up. Of course the dickhead kreutz photo guy waited 'till I got off the bike to take his pics! A-hole.

Anyways, after The Wall, it's less than a mile to go on a normal jeep road, and I hammer it. I have a much quicker transition this time, still going scared that the young'in will show up. But she doesn't, and I'm off on the final three mile run, one last duel with Fat Chuck.

This run is one of my least favorite things to do, even when I'm fresh. When I'm dead tired, it's near impossible. But I shuffle on. A lot of people are walking at this point, and they'll walk the entire time. I manage to run the first long, non-technical hill and make it down the first part of Fat Chuck's before I walk. But I keep moving forward, very important. Walk up the hill, run down the hill, walk up the hill. As an added bonus, the race director had some fallen trees put over the trail, and these were damn near impossible to get over in my weakened state.

Before I knew it, I was at the top of Fat Chuck's. Hit the water station and out to the turn around. I'm running alright and realize that if I push it I can break 2:30. Plus, I gotta keep on keepin' on, victory over the chick is almost at hand!

I give it everything I have over the last 1.5 miles. Still had to walk the up hills, worried about cramping up, but was able to run the flats and downhills. Hammer the final downhill, then jump the hay bales, then sprint the last 100 meters to the finish line.

Finishing time was 2:24:48, good for 69th place out of 139 finishers. My time last year for this race was 2:41:12, so I'm quite pleased as I pop open a cold bottle of St. Arnold's. The improvement was almost all on the bike. Last year's bike time was 1:39:38, compared to 1:25:23 this year. I lay the challenge down now: Lance Armstrong, I am coming for your course record!

I'm physically wasted as I retire to the RHR saloon for burgers and beer. The Dirty Du crowd is a fun one, and lots of BS stories are told. I didn't see the 16 year old, but someone tells me that she broke her rear derailler and had to walk her bike in over the last few miles. I immediately deny that I had anything to do with her equipment failure. I will confirm this rumor next Du, but either way I kicked her ass.

Congrats go to No Hands, who grabbed third place overall (he kicks ass on the bike!). Thanks to all those who came out to cheer me on, thanks to Boomer and Skid for continuing to be super cool to hashers, and thanks to Team Rasta for providing comic relief when he said, "Alexis needs to get her fat, lazy ass out to the next Du so I can whoop her."

Next up on the Du schedule is Flat Rock Ranch in Comfort, Texas, on February 25, 2006. Another gnarly mountain bike trail.